Let me introduce you to AW and TFO

29 Sep

Let me introduce you to the main protagonists in the drama which is my life.

First off: me – Scarlet Jones: my alter ago, a necessary pseudonym.

And then there is my ex.  I met him at the tender age of 17 and married him at 20, naively believing that things would improve as he came to realise how much I loved him and I assumed that he would relax his controlling behavior.  We battled for 25 years, him trying to dominate, me determined that he would not win and subdue my spirit, until it eventually dawned on me that he would never change.  Of course, he does has a conventional name but since that early morning when I ran from our home, I have found it easier to deal with him by de-personalizing him and he is now known as Arsewipe within my circle of friends, my solicitor and various counselors (and probably his own legal team).  ‘Bastard’ was bandied around for a while, but surprisingly I don’t hate him and Bastard seemed too strong a title for him.  Arsewipe seems far more fitting and can be shortened to AW in the company of little people or strangers, and now in this blog.  AW is, on the surface, a normal bloke.  He has a good job within the emergency services and outwardly he usually presents an easy-going personality.  There is one major drawback however – he is not particularly intelligent and holds anybody who has made anything of themselves in contempt (which has had some interesting consequences).  Combined with the sort of childhood and upbringing that he had, this has manifested itself in him needing to dominate and control, to belittle people in order to boost his own low self-esteem.

Despite regularly proclaiming his continuing love and need for me, he is in a relationship with somebody else.  When I left him, he was ranting and wailing, beating his breast and dissolving into tears, portraying himself as the hapless victim at every opportunity.  He couldn’t live without me, I was his soul mate and the love of his life.  Then within three months he was in a relationship with a woman who used to work in my office.

She is referred to as TFO.  You can probably think of many words to fit this acronym, but it actually stands for The Fat One.  Now before anybody who considers themselves large takes offence, this is not an insult but is merely observational.  I could just as easily have named her  The Ginger One or The Welsh Witch.  I didn’t want to be insulting to her as that would only elevate her status to a higher level.  I am pleased that she is with my ex.  I had rather hoped that she would make him happy and he would stop trying to stalk me, but I suspect that neither of them will rest for as long as I am breathing.  Prior to her life with AW she was always immaculately turned out, but after a couple of years with him she can now only be described as shabby.  Poor thing – her husband walked out on her after almost 25 years together (he had left her several times during their marriage, but always returned when she begged him to go back).  Her ex (let’s call him Ted) had a VERY good career with a VERY large income but now she has thrown her hat in with AW who doesn’t earn half of what she was used to and who would once have despised the sort of person that she used to be when she was spending Ted’s money.

I had a little snippet of gossip passed to me the other day.  Apparently, as it appeared that my divorce might finally become a reality, TFO had become quite excitable in the office and was telling colleagues that her and AW have been ‘talking rings’.  I assume that they mean the engagement type rather than any other sort.  Now if I were a good person, I suppose I should send her some of the texts or voice mail messages that AW has been sending me, to prevent her any heart ache in the future, but I don’t suppose that she would believe me, however I shall share one of them here with you.

Just 15 minutes after leaving court following the final hearing for our divorce I received the following text:

‘A bit of paper doesn’t stop me loving you.  I’ll be here for you when you realize what you’ve done to OUR family’

My solicitor was with me at the time and volunteered that AW may not mean that he would be waiting for me with open arms to welcome me back but perhaps with his fists or a knife.  I don’t know, but I almost feel sorry for TFO.

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One Response to “Let me introduce you to AW and TFO”

  1. Terri Nixon September 29, 2012 at 7:49 am #

    Wow, what a mess he’s made for himself … and TFO. Thank god you’re out of it and sailing on calmer waters now. I’ve only suspected much of what you’ve written here as never like to pry for details, but I understand why things have been so difficult for you.

    I admire your strength, Ms Jones, I truly do.

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